OK. You all (or most of you anyway) have seen the 16th (Stadium Hole) at TPC Scottsdale, the home of the Waste Management Phoenix Open (WMPO). Yes, it is known for being crazy. Yes, it is known for the wackiness and zaniness of the crowd. Yes, it is known for openly encouraging an “anything goes” kinda attitude. But…. Can it get better? That answer is YES. Here’s how:
Things to add to the 16th Hole Experience:
1) Entrance Music. Yep. You heard that right. Have the players hold in the tunnel and introduce them onto the tee one at a time. Imagine… “Music playing… And now, stepping to the tee…(music louder)…. From Arizona State University….(music louder still) and Carlsbad, CA…..(music blaring)… Phil Mickelson….(Crowd going beserk)!!!!”
I mean, how does that not work? The players could keep the same music or change up each round. Imagine on Saturday, usually the most rowdy day, the “patrons” at 16 drinking and not really caring who the groups are…then….”Wait….isn’t that Phil’s (or Ricky’s or DJ’s or Bubba’s or (gasp) Tiger’s) music????!!!” Hey Thunderbirds (I know you are reading)… MAKE THIS HAPPEN. How it hasn’t been implemented already is shocking. All I want is a VIP Badge and a Hotel Room… really.
2) A DJ on the 16th tee. I mean who else but a DJ can play the music and make the announcements? AND, once the group has teed off, can spin tunes while the caddy races (William Tell Overture anyone? Or better yet, the theme song from Benny Hill) commence or the dead time while the groups walk the 130 or so yards to the green. Heck if there is a delay and some dead time, a DJ will keep the crowd going. Will it bleed over to other holes? Sure. But the commotion probably does that anyway. Someone stiffs it to like a foot? I can imagine Rock & Roll #2 would cause the place to explode. Or, tired of “Jock Jams”? Well, we sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the 7th inning stretch… what would be the 16th hole equivalent? “Get Drunk and Screw”? Perfect. Again, this is a no brainer. MAKE THIS HAPPEN (I even know a guy….).
I know what you are saying, what about the other 17 holes? Well, having never been there, I can’t say. What about holding a Super Bowl party on Sunday? I mean everyone is getting ready for the game which will start around 3:30ish Pacific. Bring in some huge screens like they do in Europe for the World Cup. Have a “garden party” and watch the game. Keep the people there; don’t let them skip Sunday- besides, the best cure for a hangover (so I’ve been told)? Drink more! Keep the buzz going. Call in sick on Monday. Most of the USA will anyway.
A lot of people want a stadium hole like this at every tournament. Will that happen? No. It works in Phoenix, because, most of the top players, don’t play the event, meaning that a lot of younger guys play (I mean, can you imagine Vijay navigating 16?) and they embrace the college like atmosphere. And, you need a college known for partying (still in session) and an area full of…”young professionals” who aren’t afraid of letting their hair down. There aren’t many of those locations on the PGA Tour. Heck, there aren’t many tournaments within shouting distance of a Major City. If the AT&T returns to TPC Potomac, there is a (slight) chance of one in DC. I can think of one maybe in NYC if Bethpage is host to a “normal” tour event. Perhaps in New Orleans for the Zurich Classic.…Otherwise, this is an outlier. A friggin’ awesome one, but still.
Well, there you have it. How to take the most rowdy hole in golf and make it even
You are welcome. And to any Thunderbirds reading this……I’m serious.
Sincerely,
The Homeless Golfer
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